Diary

April 10
Driving through the desert night from Albuquerque my realization that Taos is only miles away from the Apache Indian reservation.On the way to introduce a 25 year old East German movie called "Apaches". Food for thought in the quiet darkness rushing by.

April 11
The Pueblo Times features a full-page article entitled "So... you wanna be an Indian!". You can be an Indian? "Well... maybe you can. If, you have the guts..." But - "...You simply have to clean up your spirit. In the native world, there are no allusions. We survive because we know who we are. We are a thousand year old culture built on God, Community and Family. Until you take responsibility for your actions, you'll always be a Dead Man Walking." Yugoslavian actors on Russian horses as Native American heroes. Allusions? The awkwardness grows.

April 12
Thousands of miles South from Seattle, but no use for shorts in a cold morning with snow on the ground. A mostly white audience at the Taos Convention Center. Jason's and Rob's warm introduction. I'm asking the audience to shrink, to become a child, to imagine being seven years old in East Germany, behind a wall, and seeing Indian heroes fighting for their land and survival. Someone is sobbing during the massacre scene; or was it just a cold? Ulzana gets his revenge. People are clapping, 20 minutes film discussion. Afterwards, a Native journalist tells me that she had to wait 42 years to see something like this. Allusions?

April 13
An afternoon screening at the Oo-Oonah Art Center at the Taos Pueblo. What am I doing here - somewhat afraid, yet hoping for a Native audience. But another mostly white audience is crowding the small room, a few Art Center members in the back. Unexpected and somewhat chilling cheers and clapping when the Indians kill the white villains. Marie, the Art Center's director, joins me for a long Q&A session. Somebody explains that the Santa Rita mine still exists, somebody else asks about racial mixing in East Germany, and Marie shares her childhood memories of Cowboy and Indian movies made in U.S.A., so very different from East German Indians. And for a while, there are no allusions.